Friday, April 15, 2005


I was lying in bed last night, praying, when I had a revelation. I'm not sure if I can put it into words, which isn't good when you're a writer, but in a nutshell, I realized that God is....big.

Now, before you say, "Duh!" here's the thing. Of course I know God is "big," in the sense that he's all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-everything but what's bad, and that gives Him a certain "big" stature to us. We don't imagine someone with all that God is being 4'9". But I think that I've "known" God for so long that He stopped being big to me. When I pictured Him I inadvertantly pictured the Jesus aspect of Him, and that shrank Him to human size in my mind. What's that line from the Genie in the Disney "Aladdin" movie, something about the biggest power in the universe, in a itty-bitty living space. He was kind of like that to me. Lots of power, small package that I could get my head around. But then last night, as I was praying, I got this sudden vision of God being like the sun: so big that, even millions of miles away, He's huge in the sky.

It's a bit like the concept of love. We toss the word around so much that, by the time you find yourself faced with a person you really and truly LOVE with all the facets that the concept entails, the word dribbles, powerless, off your tongue. Suddenly this word that should cause you to swell with emotion, to melt with pleasure, has no more oomph to it than the plainest, most ordinary word in the language, and even though the concept behind it is so intense, you have no way to convey it. So you say it over and over, thinking maybe you can pile it up and increase its potency, but instead you're just exacerbating the problem. Soon you've said it so much it's lost all meaning.

I think that's what happened to me and God. After 23 years of faith, after thousands of Sunday school stories and youth group meetings and Bible studies, God became commonplace. The idea of God creating the universe--did you hear me? CREATING THE FREAKING UNIVERSE-- held no more mystery or majesty. The fact that He managed to multiply two fish and three loaves of bread to feed more than 5 times as many people as attend my church is about as awe-inspiring to me as the fact that dirt plus water equals mud. How pathetic.

So anyway...I'm lying in bed, praying, and suddenly I saw Him staring down at me, patiently listening to my prattling, and I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by His existence. Overwhelmed by His strength. Overwhelmed by the privilege I have to speak directly to Him. This gigantic, enormous, massive power, this God that can speak solar systems into place and call all the stars by name and keep track of every sparrow all at the same time...this God sees me, hears me, listens to me, and speaks to me. And I, miracle of miracles, am allowed to see, hear, listen, and speak back.

Oh yeah, and He loves me, too. Me. Loves me.

Oh boy. Slow down. One mind-bending concept at a time...


Heather Diane Tipton said...

You Forgot to mention He knows every hair on your head.

Sounds like a really awesome thing to experience. I get a slight glimpse of how big and awesome He is if I'm out in the country and watch the sun come up...

Bigger than Me said...

I had a Big God moment this week, at my three-year-old daughter's pediatrician's appointment. When he pulled out his stethoscope, and told her he was going to listen to her heart, she was great, sitting very still. Then she whispered "can you hear him?" there was a pause, and she explained "Jesus is in there, you know." He actually had tears in his eyes, it was so sweet, and it gets better! She told him he didn't have to use his "necklace" (the steth)When he asked her why, she said "well God is bigger than the whole world, and if he is in there, than my heart must be pretty big!"

That's a pretty big God, who can fill up the heart of a three-year-old, and her broken-hearted mother at the same time...
Love you!
Katie Michel

Jim C Weller said...

I feel blessed anytime God reveals Himself in a way that gets my attention or opens my mind or heart to some reality. Especially when that reality has been cleverly hidden in time-worn words.
Yes, mystery of mysteries, He does love you and me... and that is amazing since He actually KNOWS us!